Utopian dreams?

Pantisocracy is a term, coined by Samuel Taylor Coleridge, used by idealists to describe a classless utopian society in which all people have equal rights and all people rule. Is it possible to create such a society? Nah! Not even close.

In the first place, a pantisocracy implies that my 98-year old blind aunt has as much right to drive a Champ car or an Indy car as Catherine Legge or Danica Patrick. Actually, I don't see that happening anytime soon. There are just too many legitimate reasons why people can't, or shouldn't, be treated as equals, but that's not to say that people shouldn't be treated fairly.

In the second place, in order to establish a true pantisocracy, the privileged elite 1% of the population that hoards 80% of the nation's wealth would have to give up a significant portion of that wealth, and I don't see that happening anytime soon, either.

To round out the top three reasons why a pantisocracy won't soon replace our current arrangement, corporations would have to give up virtually all of the power they've managed to grab over the last 120 years or so. What are the chances of that happening? Jesus, I can hear them howling already.

No, I don't think we'll soon see our current form of government replaced by a pantisocracy. Too many people benefit from the kleptocracy that's already in place. And too many people are afraid to change the status quo.

Oxy-and other-morons

By definition, oxymorons are figures of speech in which apparently contradictory terms are combined to produce epigrammatic or paradoxical effects. For example, "government intelligence" is an oxymoron. I think this stems from the fact that more than a few people in government are morons, if not outright idiots. I'm not sure how "oxy" fits into the picture.

Want some more examples? Okay, how about "intelligent design" (at least in the way the term applies to our little dot on the Universal Star Chart)? The state of the world today argues more against the possibility of God's existence than it does for it. What God-fearing person of sound mind (wait, that's probably an oxymoron, too) would dare suggest that God had a hand in creating this mess we commonly refer to as "reality"?

If God did create this mess, then one must logically argue that the design is less than intelligent. Oh, you're arguing that God created mankind and that mankind is responsible for the mess. Excuse me? Doesn't that imply that God's design of mankind is faulty? Once again, the argument for intelligent design flunks the test.

But, I digress.

What other oxymorons can we come up with? How about "golf action"? That's certainly an oxymoron, and "baseball action" is borderline, at best. "Slow speed"? How much more contradictory can you get? "Working vacation"? I'll take a week off and get back to you.

There are many more oxymorons, I'm sure, but I just can't think of any, right now. Guess I've got a forgetful memory.

A Racing Legend

Stunned is the single word that best describes my feelings on that fateful Easter Sunday morning, 44 years ago, when I heard the news. Just hours earlier, at the Goodwood Racing Circuit in England, Stirling Moss had crashed his racing car (a Lotus Formula One car, if I remember correctly) head-on into a dirt embankment at 100 m.p.h., suffering life-threatening injuries in the accident.

Although Moss went on to recover from his injuries, his professional driving career, perhaps the most brilliant career in all of motor racing history, was over.

Stirling Moss' consummate driving skill made him the quintessential driver. Whether in an open-wheel or closed-wheel car, in open cockpit or closed, Moss excelled. His prowess at the "LeMans start" became legendary, and his unique "long arm" driving style made him the most recognizable driver on the track.

Unarguably, Moss was the greatest driver never to win the World Championship. During a career that spanned about 12 years, he racked up scores of victories, driving such cars as Jaguar, Maserati, Cooper, Lotus, Ferrari, Mercedes-Benz and Porsche, on the premier circuits of Europe and North America. His early victories in Cooper and, later, Lotus formula and sports racers helped ensure that rear-engine cars would become the norm, not the curious exception, at modern racing events.

Moss set yet another milestone when he became the first professional driver to earn more than $100,000 in a single year. Because driver salaries were notoriously low throughout the 1950's, Moss became one of motorsports' early pioneers of product endorsements.

Today, Sir Stirling Moss, nearing 80 years of age, continues to be a crowd pleaser. He still writes books, still does speaking and promotional tours, still inspires awe. Not too long ago, at Laguna Seca Raceway, he made what was to be the final run of the vintage Mercedes-Benz 300 SLR roadster that he drove to victory in the 1955 Mille Miglia. Jay Leno, comedian, late-night talk show host and avid car enthusiast, went along for the ride. And I am soooooooooooooo envious.

Thanks for the inspiration, Stirl. And thanks for the memories.

Issue #29 & other issues . . .

Petey's Pipeline E-zine (issue #29) is on track for late Sunday publication. Features include new business trends and opportunities, an article about a previously untapped source of energy, and the usual writing tip for do-it-yourself Web page writers.

Do I believe in freedom of speech and of the press? You bet I do, and I'll defend your right to say or publish anything you want (short of outright slander, libel or child sexploitation), no matter how stupid or foolish it is.

Thanks to the Internet, anyone who has access can become a writer and/or publisher. Lots of people who write and publish on-line claim to be editors, too, but evidence suggests otherwise. Many self-proclaimed editors seem to be strangers to the editing process. Ah, well! Time and experience will sort it all out.

11:11, and all is well . . . maybe!

Does anyone have a grip - and I mean a really firm grip - on what 11:11 is all about? Some say it portends the end of the world, others say it portends the end of the world as we know it. Most people, however, have no opinion one way or the other because they don't know anything about it.

This is what I know for sure:

Whenever I spontaneously glance at a digital clock, the time 11:11 shows up far more often than mere chance would allow.

According to 11:11 theorists, 11:11 marks the time on the morning of December 21, 2012, when a catastrophic event of some kind will forever alter life on Earth. 11:11 is the warning sign.

The late Terence McKenna (by all accounts an extremely bright fellow) wrote an article in which he stated, unequivocally, that the Mayan calendar, which was projected several hundred years beyond the end of the Mayan civilization, ends on December 21, 2012. After creating a complex graph consisting of overlapping circles that represent the timelines of various events, McKenna found that all the overlaps converged at a specific point in time -- precisely at 11:28 a.m., December 21, 2012. Coincidence? Or too close for comfort?

What kind of force could alter life on our planet, or end it? Unfortunately, there are several, none so far-fetched as to be considered impossible, or even improbable. A meteor strike could do it, as could nuclear war (Duhbya's workin' on it). So could an eruption of the supervolcano at Yellowstone National Park, weather events due to global warming, or a series of massive earthquakes.

In fact, there's probably too much to worry about to worry about it. Or, as my old friend Alfred E. Neuman always said, "What, me worry?"

Now, it begins!

Petey's Pipeline (Blog Edition) Hits the Ro . . . er, the Information Superhighway. Yeah, I know! Some of you are saying, "Well, it's about time."

Actually, it's way past time, but give me a break, anyway. I knew as soon as that damned fool made me Webmaster for the Perfect Text Web site and put me in charge of all things technical that there was going to be trouble. Well, sure enough, I was right. A deficiency of technological acumen and a critical shortage of qualified staffers mean that this blog and the Perfect Text Web site will continue to bumble along, using the same inept management style that George Duhbya Bush uses to run the country: Play it by ear, ignore reality, shun advice and deny responsibility. It’s a surefire formula for . . . for . . . for absolute disaster.

Hey, ya go with what ya got.