Monday, April 17, 2006

Oxy-and other-morons

By definition, oxymorons are figures of speech in which apparently contradictory terms are combined to produce epigrammatic or paradoxical effects. For example, "government intelligence" is an oxymoron. I think this stems from the fact that more than a few people in government are morons, if not outright idiots. I'm not sure how "oxy" fits into the picture.

Want some more examples? Okay, how about "intelligent design" (at least in the way the term applies to our little dot on the Universal Star Chart)? The state of the world today argues more against the possibility of God's existence than it does for it. What God-fearing person of sound mind (wait, that's probably an oxymoron, too) would dare suggest that God had a hand in creating this mess we commonly refer to as "reality"?

If God did create this mess, then one must logically argue that the design is less than intelligent. Oh, you're arguing that God created mankind and that mankind is responsible for the mess. Excuse me? Doesn't that imply that God's design of mankind is faulty? Once again, the argument for intelligent design flunks the test.

But, I digress.

What other oxymorons can we come up with? How about "golf action"? That's certainly an oxymoron, and "baseball action" is borderline, at best. "Slow speed"? How much more contradictory can you get? "Working vacation"? I'll take a week off and get back to you.

There are many more oxymorons, I'm sure, but I just can't think of any, right now. Guess I've got a forgetful memory.